Shosh owing to the pleasure of our lives we haven’t been keeping up with our bloggerly duties! Let’s do a brief recap, as we have to run out the door soon and won’t be able to adequately cover our tribulations.

For those worrying about me, I would like you to know my guts are improved and there are no ER visits on the horizon. Huzzah. But I am bloated in a strange way that leads to being misshappen.

T: What would you like to report of our lives and times?

S: On Monday we went to Ojo?

T: Yes.

S: We have to describe Ojo and the guy passing out in the pool and me not intervening at all despite there being no medical help anywhere.

T: He did have a team of women in skirted swimsuits helping him out of the pool.

S: Maybe if they had done something weird I would have intervened.

T: I like that this is still a maybe.

S: I was sitting five feet away not doing anything but making sure they did the right things like was he speaking full sentences, yes, was he sitting or reclining, yes, had he eaten in the last couple hours and was he now drinking a lot of water and cooling off with a wet towel on his neck? Yes. And with his five or six fifty-something women. So I did nothing.

T: I think fifty-something might be a little generous. Remember the mud bath?

S: Oh yes. That was a true mob mentality moment that we had.

T: Pushing people to grab mud and rub it on our skin.

S: We all dip in the same bucket and get mud to slather on our skin then we lay in the sun until it gets all dry and you can’t take it then get in a small muddy pool where tons of people had already

T: De-mudded their filthy bodies before us. Were there any lecherous types in this area?

S: Yes. There were a couple guys who were looking too long. Originally we wouldn’t go in that other pool because that guy wouldn’t stop staring. There were many guys alone in sunglasses thinking we couldn’t tell where they were looking.

T: They hadn’t learned a lot of tricks to stare without being noticed.

S: I would’ve loved Ojo if it was all women and we could have just run around naked. I felt confined in my suit.

T: Me too.

S: Surprisingly though it wasn’t too bad being in a swim suit in a hot pool on a hot day. What did we do that night?

T: Trampoline again.

S: Oh yeah we were on the trampoline for an hour, that was a long time.

T: What did we do yesterday?

S: We got the best massages. I think the best massages of my life. I want to describe the part where she made me a wheelbarrow with a towel over my crotch. Pretty much my boobs and face were the only things touching ground.

T: Then she had your heels way up in the air

S: She put a towel over my but and a loin cloth between my legs because you, Jocelyn and Piper were walking around and it could have been embarrassing. She was very much into climbing around on the massage table and putting her weight on you but it always felt amazing. She is somebody who could stand on her hands for ten minutes because she’s so ripped from being a circus star. Always the best kind of person to get for a massage. Next time we have to get two massages from her.

T: But not back-to-back.

S: One at the beginning of the trip and one at the end.

T: We have to go!

S: Off to facials!