Are you familiar with contrasts? I am. I have seen dark and light, up and down, left and right, Case Study homes and Victorians, so so many things. For years. Tonight I saw nice people and jerks, regular people participating in Western medicine who shop at Safeway and people who are witches for our time (which hinges on employing tinctures, essences and tarot cards), and people who are willing to brazenly roll their eyes at a stand-up comedian and people who at least have the respect to hide their disdain. I performed the act of telling jokes this evening with Lez Stand Up at Asiento, a bar in San Francisco. When the unsuspecting audience came to this bar for an artfully mixed drink and a game of Jenga, extracted from bookshelves made of re-purposed BARN WOOD or whatever, they were not planning on regarding a stand-up comedy show. So the crowd was resistant when we started. I felt uncomfortable instantly, and instead of doubling down my efforts like a pro, I just thought, “I’m not into this.” Which is so dumb and I can’t stop kicking myself about it. Am I an independently wealthy emancipated minor? Do I really just huck my carcass off a tenth floor balcony the second I’m not interested in something? Do I think nothing matters? I saw a man ROLL HIS EYES while watching me. Really? I’m the worst you ever saw? You can’t believe it? How was I emboldened to get onstage and tell jokes with great content and subpar delivery? I don’t know, sir. I do not know. But I truly hope your weekend improves after this dastardly incident.

After the show I talked to a person who went ahead and told me they didn’t like the movie Valencia because to her, the movie Swingers more effectively encapsulates the 90’s. The conversation was so uninteresting and without merit that I wanted to rip out a sewer grate and go live underground forever and raise pitbulls in a dark corridor and fight a pigeon for half a hot dog bun. At least then I could get behind the struggles.

I need to go to bed, I’m insanely tired.

But for the love of all, please donate to our KS.
Rods and Cones Kickstarter